Bittersweet Life...

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

chris angel- mind freak is a hunk, baby! he's hot la. im melting.

Smashed into pieces at 1/30/2007 03:51:00 AM

so, my first paper's later today. in abt 7 hours. honestly, i dunt feel confident. honestly, i dont care. honestly, i know i can do it. i dunno la.

im still damn bloody awake. i dunno y. i dunno wat drove me to stay awake this long while studying. it's been quite a very long while since i did this. staying up this late just to study.

and im kinda driven to do a wake-a-thon, or watever u call it. like wat dila's doin, i wanna try not sleeping. gosh. i feel half zombified already. i only wished i was at NPCC camp with as'ad and the gang... coz i feel really hyper rite now. coz im blogging.

soccer fever is on, i guess. yiippie.

im amazed tt im awake at this hr, studying. yes. i have to repeat tt. i think it's kinda good, coz im kinda afraid to sleep. i've been having this dreams tt felt so damn real. as cliche as it sounds, it's true. never have i had a dream that felt so real, that when i woke up in the middle of the nite, i cried that it was just a dream. everything felt so real-life. the words. the touch. the gestures. the person. i wish i could show it, but i dunno how. i damn wish tt the dream would come true. or at least, be close to that. oh, how i wish.

gonna study some more.. see if i have time to sleep or not. btw, this first paper is 3 hrs long. like u NEED to know. ughh. watever.

nites. morning, darls.

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 1/30/2007 02:56:00 AM

Sunday, January 28, 2007

had a HUGE brunch at downtown east just now. ate at sakura intnl buffet. it was definitely a yummylicious spread of cuisines. there's the fried stuffs, the plentiful sushi choices, there's the grilled stuff, salad, chinese, and sinful cakes and ice cream of ur choice =)

and i met FELICIA BABY DARLING thereeee! hehhe.. it was farika's(sp?) bdae! she is still as adorable as EVER! and feli darl is getting prettier by the moment.. feli, u remind me of tt actress frm princess hours!

i think my mr.PizzaHut had just lost someone dear to him. i really feel his lost. im not kidding. im speaking seriously. just in case he's reading this(yea,rite.), im sorry for ur lost. it's one of life's predicament. stay strong, though easier said than done, im sure u'll get by with ur frens and those who do care for u.

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 1/28/2007 03:25:00 PM

Saturday, January 27, 2007

exams stress are finally hitting on me. yup. it's horrendous.

singapore v.s m'sia. HOOOORAYYYY! singapore won riteeee at the LAST min. sheesh. preety mad at the way they played actually. it was rather weak and very not supportive of each other. riduan(sp?)- jersey no.2, had a good game tonite. very impressive play from him. and also jia yi(sp?)... the malaysians were pathetic. hahh.. i was damn HAPPY, sky high happyyy when L.L baby saved the ball kick frm tt malaysian during the last penalty shot.

SINGAPORE WINS!!!!!!!!!

weee~

bowling with the girls ystday was fun. hahha.. i had a strike!

i need to study. at least, practise and make sense out of the given solutions. and im worried and scared for someone's studies.

woooo, mr.PizzaHut is siZZZling HOT!

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 1/27/2007 11:28:00 PM

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

i feeeeel soooo refreshed today. hahahha!!!

the girls have made me act as if my exams are damn over, but ive yet to take the first. well, for them, they have a couple more to go onlie. be-lar-dy la korang!

attended ITP briefing... havta to fill up the stoopid log book. so troublesome. part of me cant wait for the attachmt to start. but, still there's a lil part of me tt's very reluctant. reluctant to grow up.

first paper next week. it'll be a 3-hr paper. may God bless me.

lent my specs to aL this aftnn... and damn, she's a perfect Hanaa twin. one Hanaa is enuf. two? nah-uh. no thanks. wakakakkakaka!

i want my mr. PizzaHut. =)
he's damn be-lar-diii hot.

mak, aku sorii. kau just stick wit mr.Mayonaise, k? wakakkakakaka!!!

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 1/24/2007 10:02:00 PM

Sunday, January 21, 2007

y do u have to treat me like that? there's no way u'll know how i feel. there's no way for u to know, coz i know u rather not know.

Smashed into pieces at 1/21/2007 06:18:00 PM

Thursday, January 18, 2007

adrena's mumbling away... she's awake nowww!! hehhehe...!

my life is in a mess rite now. distractions are all i need. major and constant distractions.

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 1/18/2007 09:59:00 AM

Saturday, January 13, 2007

finally... i can update. but sadly, the whole looong post gone POOF!

well, basically, i missed my darling baby perform at SP.

and anyway, my previous posts were just for me to make myself feel better. sometimes, u know, i just feel being dragged down real bad. like hit pit bottom zero. it feel real bad. but aft putting down those dreaded feelings, i feel a lil better. though, now i still a lil bit like as if i lost everything i had, i guess i just have to carry on. i have to practice wat i preach to a dear fren of mine. told her no matter wat, no matter how hard, we just gotta pick ourselves up and move on.

it's pretty heavy picking ourselves up sometimes. it's very hard to do so. tt's y frens are there. i appreciate those of u who really took care of me, who consoled me after i bawled myself at times, who are just willing to be a listening ear and endlessly encouraging me to not give up.

i have to admit im doing well. but at times, u know, there's this feeling tt just hit me all of the sudden... and once again, i feel as if i've been dragged along a road. it's no fun. having these mood swings is no fun... it's painful. see, here i go again. i keep telling myself stop giving in to tt eff-ed up feeling, and so did others. i didnt give in. but sometimes, it's just too bloody strong. haiz.

sighh.

but, i am getting better. taking it slowly, but eventually. =)

i know my frens will be there. but i dun wanna throw myself onto them. it's such a burden, i feel, coz they have their own life too. i cant go running to them everytime i feel shitty. it's unfair.

im a strong girl. im a girl with a high self esteem. im a girl tt doesnt give a shit abt lil things. a girl tt's brave to do her thing. she's brave, isnt she? or was she?

so, darlings, not to worry. thank u very much for the tags and caring words. knowing tt there's still someone who is concern at the very least makes me feel better. thanks.

ok. im good, for now =)

had fun, fun, fun today.. hahaha.. socccer match at tampines. spmls vs. another team of mixed up ppl.. haha.. it was thrilling. i was screaming my ass off at the sidelines. i could shit rite there and then. it was re-match anyway coz the opponent werent happy tt they lost last week. today's score were a draw at 4 all. im glad tt the spmls guys didnt give up. im proud of u guys. *applause*

i love my frens. i miss them. i miss my life the way it used to be before all of us decided to grow up.

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 1/13/2007 06:20:00 PM

Thursday, January 11, 2007

well, im still alive.

im like considering whether ive really lived my life. like im considering the pros and cons of dying now.

i might just as well leave... just rot and burn in hell, coz there's nth much left for me now.

happiness once i called it, now has become a toture. once again, im faking myself. im holding on to dear life by faking myself.

Smashed into pieces at 1/11/2007 11:10:00 AM

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

y is it easy for me to trust others, and hard for others, my closest kin in this matter, to trust me?

i've got no one to turn to.

i've got no one to tend to my tears. just me and my lost soul. alone.

i think i wanna die. i shall leave and not bother anyone. i shant burden anyone anymore.

goodbye.

Smashed into pieces at 1/10/2007 11:32:00 PM

today, had my first lesson in the circuit. i hate the circuit. it's so small and crampyyy. i rather drive on the roads.

headed back home, had a nap, woke up late and rushed for sch. BITLaw test was alrite.. lecture was cool. haha.. as usual, filled with jokes, thanks to mr poh.

did a lil studying at the lib. my exams are abt 3 weeks away onli. damn fast lah. after which, i will commence my ITP a.k.a attachmt. scarryyy.scary tt time flies by so fast.

i can sleep in a lil bit tmr morn. yayy! =) coz class starts in the aftnoon.

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 1/10/2007 09:12:00 PM

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

school was aite today. loads of laughters, thanks to hazeeq and iqbal.

exams are just round the corner, as so is the ITP, and also not forgetting third year. damn. i feel old.

i miss hanging out with my babes from poly... though i do meet them, but it's been very rare going out with them.

till next update.

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 1/09/2007 10:51:00 PM

Monday, January 08, 2007

ok. it's back to school today. not fun. it's the same draggy routine. im tired of school already. but, i dun want to grow up. coz growing up is painful.

im not hoping. at least, im trying not to hope. im telling myself as much as possible tt u let me down, so tt i could stop myself frm hoping and staying away frm as much as possible, like u wanted me too.

it hurts. i wish u are reading this.

so, back to sch tmr.

and im soooo happy for my darling vic and feliiiii! =)

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 1/08/2007 07:35:00 PM

Sunday, January 07, 2007

i've switched to the latest blog google thingy. so, now i can choose who can read my blog. or just make this whole blog issue a private thing. so, everything is just to myself.

heading to gym later.

i wanna get out of this home asap. any guy, hurry. come and marry me off. get me out of here. after tt, we can get divorced k? just get me out of here.

Smashed into pieces at 1/07/2007 01:39:00 PM

Saturday, January 06, 2007

bloody fuck. it's YOU that i miss.

So you stole my heart
And left me a ransom letter
Demanding I treat you better
Should I ever want it back and
Now I'm all alone
Dreams are all forgotten
Memories all turned rotten
It's not the same on the phone

So what's up boy?
Things haven't changed a bit since we last met
I bet my bottom dollar you're the best, boy that I ever had
I never wanna lose you

So what's up?
I can't let you walk away
We planned to live forever
In each others arms

So......
Please hold on
You know no one will love you like i do
And that's the thing you know it too

So what's up boy?
Things haven't changed a bit since we last met
I bet my bottom dollar you're the best, boy that I ever had
I never wanna lose you

So what's up?
I hear our song; it keeps playing on the radio
You're on my mind, I can't let you go
I'm all alone and I just want you to hold
Please take my hand
Never let me go
I hear our song it keeps playing on the radio
You're on my mind, I can't let you go
Please make your mind up, don't see what the future holds
So what's up boy?

Things haven't changed a bit since we last met
I bet my bottom dollar you're the best, girl that I ever had
I never wanna lose you
So what's up?

Smashed into pieces at 1/06/2007 07:01:00 PM

3rd Jan.

went back to school to collect the dvd... and then wenta meet hana and iqbal and his frens, after which, we headed to the bowling alleys. met the other hanaaa!!! hehhe.. finally!! we were definitely camera-crazy of the same level! wakakkaka! it's pleasant to finally meet u, girl.

4th Jan.

went bowling again =) and then feasted on pizza hut... a large pizza and ocean's platter as appetizer. headed back to tamp. stopped by tm to get wrapping paper for my aunt's prezzie.

5th jan. ystday.

woke up early to go for driving prac. later in the aftnn, went to siglap for npcc. it was CCA day ystday. it was boring as usual. but fun came later when me and adrena decided to try cheerleading moves. haha.. and when the whole unit participated in sing-a-long sessions. i almost lost my voice. then i joined the cadets in a game of captain's ball, in my jeans and my long sleeved top. haha. i was just like a cadet, not at all behaving like a CI. watever. after tt, went home with aisyah darling. ohhh yeaaa... adibah gorgeous stopped by! missed her.. but too bad i got a lil meeting after everything, so i cant go home with u, babe..

went home. slept damn early. went to lalaland at 10pm. my legs were like wobbling last night. i think coz of the ball game. hehh.

today.

probably goin out with the bro to accompany him watch movie.

oh yeah. i went to tyrashow.com and it was fun la. it was like a grown up version of barbie's webbie. and i went barney's NY webbie too, but they onli ship their stuff to US states onli. bummerrr..

till next update.

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 1/06/2007 10:27:00 AM

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

it has been a tiringgggg day!

i was already awake by 6am as i had my driving prac at 7.30. and damn did i do a horrible performance on it today.. as well as any other days before, since the day i started to learn how to park and stuff. it was horrible. im really scared. i can park, for nothing. i can drive on the roads, turn at junctions, change lanes... all except parking. im downright useless when it comes to tt. argh. i have at least a month more to go before da real thang. a month left, and i still hit down the poles, park more to the right or left, never straight and i still can master coordination between the steering and brakes. sheeessh.

aft tt, head down to paya lebar... gotta renew my PDL. though it's onli a month left for me till my TP, i think it'd serve well as i have very little confidence of passing, even scrapping thru the test. and it cost 25 hoots. afterwards, stopped by the temp. pasar geylang to get a jubah(long dress?) for my aunt =) it's her bdae.. ok. u dun need to know tt, but watever. ok. carry on...

wenta sch... coz i wanted to collect the longest yard dvd tt i reserved. however, the stoopid library was close. u would say like heyy, it's a public holiday. but heyy back at u... the school's open... so y not the library..? shitnits.

was hungry, and the bloody foodcourts were not open too. bodoh la i tell u! soooo, just hadta settle wit instant sandwiches from a vending which spits them out aft 90 seconds onli. wow. rite.

yada, yada, yada.. went home.

im tired. btw, i just HAVTA add taufik's "usah lepaskan" here =) the words really tug ur heartstrings...

Yang terindah

Terlukis di bibir mu

Tak pernah ku lihat senyum mu

Sebegitu

Pudarkah sudah cinta yang ku beri

Berwarna warni segala

Yang di janjikan ia

Usah biarku bersendirian

Usah biar hati mu ditawan

Usah biar diri ku disini

Seorang menuggu tanpa teman

Usah lepas genggaman tangan mu

Usah biar semua berlalu

Usah terlupa perasaan hati

Pertama kali kita bertemu

Usah lepaskan

Tak mudah ku melupakan segala yang berlalu

Ku ingin selalu bersama mu

Ku tak peduli apa sebabnya

Engkau dan dia harus bersama

Mendungnya langit bila berkata

Kita patutnya masih bercinta

.Usah lepaskan.

Smashed into pieces at 1/02/2007 09:04:00 PM

Monday, January 01, 2007

it's a boring day. wat's new.

holiday= boringness for me.

my posts are getting boring too.

dun bother reading, k? ill understand.

ta~

Smashed into pieces at 1/01/2007 08:19:00 PM